ALBUM LYRICS
*TRACK NUMBERS AS LISTED ON CD

1. FUCK TRUCK
1> I've got a big rig, it's a machine
The king of the road
It's so long and god damn wide
That I'm always losing my load!

2> If I take passesgers I don't slw down
So jump on you better be quick
If you hitch a ride, you got to abide
To drive with your hand on the stick.

CH> Drive a fuck truck, right through the muck
Drive my fuck truck!
Drive a fuck truck, let's get it stuck!
Drive my fuck truck.

2. MEAT CURTAINS
1> I'm standing outside and I'm standing tall
But the backdoor 's locked, I don't have the keys
The windows open just a little crack
And the drapes are flapping in the breeze

2> My fingers in and the windows up
It's open wide now my god
All those thick & fury drapes needed
Was a big long slippery curtain rod

CH> Through your window - light is spurtin'
When I open - your meat curtain

4. DUTCH OVEN
1> I've got something cooking
I'm baking up some doe
Can you smell the yeast rising
It's wafting up your nose

2> It comes out warm and crusty
A long brown whole meal mass
When I bake a loaf I bake it hard
I bake with natural gas

CH> Oven Dutch Oven -
I'm baking you a chocolate muffin
*I'm baking you a muffin -
A chocolate muffin in my dutch oven.

5. JACK HAMMER
1> I love busting shit apart
I love that pumping sound
When I raw my bit bit into your crack
And ram it to the ground

2> I'll crumble you to rubble
Demolish you to dust
You know your fucked when my jackhammer
Penetrates your crust

3> Have you got the stamina
To take me full pressure
When I'm down there
Jackin' ya with my big jack-hammer

CH> Jack-en-her - Jack-hamm-er!

6. MILK MAN
1&2> Deliver thick and ritch
Creamy liquid silk
It's my job to make your
Wife cry over how I spilt my milk
I check her cans are nice and full
I dump load and dash
To go and milk the cow next door

CH> Big Udders in my hand -
I am the milk man!

3> I deliver creamy silk.
Your wife crys over my spilt milk
When she's full then i dash
To go and give a milk mostash.

8. PORCELAIN TRAIN
1> All aboard full steam ahead
This old girl ain't got brakes
She goes real hard + off the rails
Until she gets the shakes

2> She's gonna pop she missed her stop
She's gonna make a mess
Out the tunnel like a funnel
Porcelain Express

CH> Strain
The engine feels the
Strain
A full carriage again
She likes to drive the Porcelain Train!

9. BATH PLUGS
1> Big and round and rubbery
Gigantic huge and bold
They rise up in the centre
Especially when the water's cold

2> Bath Plugs come in colours
They come in pink and brown
I love the sound the suction makes
When the suction sucks them down

CH> In the tub with bath plugs
I get em wet and covered in suds.

10. COWGIRL
1> Spread your legs and mount me
Give that leather whip a crack
Corrals are open
Ride it hard bare back

2> I'm a bull with a raging horn
To stay on you'll need luck
You know you'll cum unstuck
When you try to tame the buck.

CH> Cow Girl
Want to spin and twirl
Cow Girl
Take me for a whirl.

12. FUR BURGER
1> Give me a burger with the lot
Two slabs of pink raw meat
I want sauce dripping down my chin
Give me all that I can eat

2> I lick my lips and open wide
Inhale and bare my teeth
But the cheese has gone all mouldy
There's fur growing on the beef!

CH> Do you hunger for a bite of her
- Fur Burger!

13. HOOK DICK
1> Grab your rod and grab your tackle
The fish are biting mate
Dazzel them with a shiny lure
And watch them take the bate

2> They're so wet and smelly
Yet there fillets taste so sweet
Pull out the hook and gut them,
And the sea-weed you can eat

CH> String on a stick, take your pick
I catch more fish with my hook dick.

14. ROOSTER GRIP
1> I'm the cock that rises early
The pecker of the group
Hens nites are my specialty
I do the laying in the coup

CH> Rooster Grip!

2> Ruffeled feathers and clucky hens
After laying eggs they're loose
I lean back my head and crow
Coz I've come home to roost

3> I am the cock
And you're the chick
Part your feathers
For the rooster grip!

16. TURKEY SLAPPIN'
1> I like meaty big plump birds
That gobble down the lot
They give good head especially when
It's on the chopping block

2> Pluck it's feathers make it smooth
Spread cranberry sauce like sap
Spread its legs for stuffing
Make it tender with a slap

CH> Wings are Flappin'
Necks are Snappin'
Turkey Slappin'

17. MEXICAN FACEWASH
1> Underneath his poncho
You'll wear a cheesy grin
In your mouth hot beef borito
And tequila down your chin

2> He'll stuff your taco
With meat as the base
Wack off his pinyata
Spill chilli on your face.

CH> Arriba - Arriba.
Prepare your face for cheesy slosh. Arriba
Arriba. Arriba.
Mexica facewash.